11.27.04
Posted in Uncategorized at by mountzionryan
From the Merriam-Webster online dictionary:
hol·i·day
Pronunciation: ‘hä-l&-”dA, British usually ‘hä-l&-dE
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English hAligdæg, from hAlig holy + dæg day
1 : HOLY DAY
So I looked up “Holy Day”
Main Entry: holy day
Function: noun
: a day set aside for special religious observance
What does any of this have to do with “The Holidays”TM as the part of the year we are now in is called? I can’t begin to count the number of times, after reading a “Christmas” book or watching a “Christmas” special with my daughter that I would have to say, “Okay Sophie, I know that they said the real meaning of Christmas is peace and love and caring for others, but what is the real meaning of Christmas?” Fortunately we’ve taught her well and she can give the right answer.
When did the “meaning of Christmas”TM cease to be Christ’s Nativity and become some wishy-washy, PC, power-of-positive-thinking, feel good pablum? And when did Thanksgiving turn into Insane Materialism Eve?
Am I upset by this? You betcha! What am I gonna do? I don’t know. Keep gift buying to a reasonable level. Reinforce the honest-to-goodness meaning of Christmas. If I had it to do over, and my wife was Orthodox, I would eschew Santa Claus altogether. I mean, shucks why should some fictional bozo who lives on an ice cap get the credit for the gifts I give my kids? I know that’s maybe a stupid, prideful reason for dissing the jolly elf. How’s this then, the real Saint Nicholas is so much more interesting and inspirational that the guy who usurped his name.
This when I start to wish I belonged to a church that kept the Old Calendar. At least then there would be some seperation between the Day of Gifts and the Feast of the Nativity. All of this Orthodox angst about Commercial Christmas is exacerbated by my being the lone Orthodox in my family. Should Paul be baptized, and it looks probable, then Lainey and I will have to figure out how we are going to deal with this.
I’m going to let this rumble around in my head a little and post more later.
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I’ve been re-reading John Oliver’s Touching Heaven about his experience as a pilgrim/worker at Valaam. The first time I read it like a starving man eats a meal, with little attention to the subtleties of flavor and texture. Now I’m reading it like a gourmand, appreciating each delicate morsel for its unique flavor and texture.
Here are a few bites:
In those times when I attended Compline alone, though, I heard something else. There–my raincoat-covered body poured into an old wooden pew–I heard a few notes of the mystery of worship. Deep-voiced chanting of ancient texts lingered on candle flames and reached into every corner in need of light. At that time in my life, the divine melody didn’t have a prayer against the dark choir of the world, the flesh, and the devil. But with the ancient music of God, a few notes are sufficient to leave a person with a hunger to hear more.
For a short while, I stopped attending Father David’s church. The swirl of ideas and demands and uncertainties was overwhelming, and I needed time to sort through and scrutinize them all. Or so I thought. While the stir and froth of my rational faculties was making lots of noise, another quieter sound was calling. I noticed that while my assumptions were being challenged, my heart was being changed. Softened. The truth was being revealed not only in ways comprehensible, but in a kind of soul-language that engaged the whole of me. I discovered that I wasn’t meditating on the Orthodox Church; the Orthodox Church was meditating on me.
I could not believe all of it, so I believed in what I could. And for every answer that the Orthodox Church provided, another question took its place. I ran through the carnival of ideas in my head as we rolled through the mountains at sunset. If scrutinized in isolated pieces, there was plenty in the Church I did not understand. But I sensed that this was not the way to look at the Church. My reasoning abilities were flawed anyway, so my conclusion wouldn’t be entirely reliable. No, the best way for me to consider the Church was to come to it not on my terms, but on its terms [emphasis added-Raphael]
Although I can empathize with this description of Fr. John’s conversion, and I know many have had similar experiences it was not the way of my conversion. Looking back I had never really asked the serious questions of a Christian “seeker.”
Who is Christ? What is salvation? How does Christ save us? And from what?
I guess I had the faith of a child. My search was less theological and more historical. I knew that there was one Church long ago and that it should still be around. I knew the Baptist Church wasn’t it (where my sojourn began) and later I realized that neither the Roman Catholic Church nor the Episcopal Church were that ancient church. When I found The Holy Orthodox Church I knew that was it. I had found the True Chruch and thus, I could now begin to ask those questions with the expectation of correct answers.
In this regard I accepted all the Church teaches without questioning or reservaion. For me it is just as easy to accept the traditions of the Church regarding the early life of the Theotokos as try to see the stories as metaphors or later pious accretions. It is the same for seemingly outlanding miracle stories of early saints.
I may be the worst example of an Orthodox Christina when it comes to fasting and keeping a regular prayer rule, but in this one matter, my child-like faith, I feel greatly blessed: I didn’t bring much protestant baggage with me. Glory be to God!
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Posted in Uncategorized at by mountzionryan
Archimandrite Meltios Webber has a fantastic article in the recent issue of Divine Ascent, the journal of the Monastery of St. John the Wonderworker of Shanghai and San Francisco. His article is entitled “The Mind, the Heart, and the Way of Salvation.” It is one of the best introductory articles on Orthodoxy I have ever read. He briefly outlines the difference between the Orthodox and “Western” attitude toward mystery, theology, and the human condition. He goes own to outline how our mind and the thoughts it produces are often left unchecked and are destructive to our salvation.
I really can’t do this article justice. Instead here are a few quotes:
“In general terms, Western civilization is dominated by the human mind, and “knowing” seems to take precedence over “being.” In the East, experience is valued over thought, and the “nous” of man–described by Saint Makarios as the “eye of the heart” and identified by Saint Diadochos as the “innermost aspect of the heart”–is considered the most important element by which a person communicates with God and, indeed, with the rest of the universe. In the West, a mystery is a problem to be solved, as can be seen daily on television. In the East, a mystery is an area where the human mind cannot go, and where the heart alone makes sense, not by “knowing” but by “being.”
According to Orthodox theology, the fall of man is exhibited through the failure of his “nous” (his “heart”) to function soundly or even to function at all, together with a general confusion of the “nous” with the functions of the brain and of the body in general. This confusion goes so far as to imply that the mind, together with the thoughts, is all that really exists, and that the real center of being, the “nous” or heart, is of minimal importance (if it exists at all). Thus, most human lives are completely dominated by the tyranny of the mind (together with its properties: fear and desire, depression and anxiety) and the real center of being, with its natural state of serenity and communion, is ignored.
The entire basis of Western experience, summed up definitively by Descartes as “Cogito ergo sum” (”I think therefore I am”) is, in Orthodox terms, the greatest of deceits. Far from being true, it is actually an expression that perpetuates the very factor that causes the ongoing fragmentation of the human person.
Father Meletios goes on to explain in detail this fragmentation and that salvation, union with God, is to be found in the process of reuniting (or defragmenting) our selves–healing the rift between our mind and our heart.
Another Orthodox blogger has refered to this article here.
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Posted in Uncategorized at by mountzionryan
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about self-reliant living. More specifically my dream of moving to a plot of land with some forest and perhaps a meadow and a creek and starting from scratch. Or nearly so. If I were alone I wouldn’t even want a house. I would build a house out of the materials at hand. In these parts that would mean logs and field stone. Since I have a wife and children, I would require a house. We would keep small livestock and have an extensive garden. I would want to be “off the grid” and produce our own electricity or have none at all.
If this sounds anti-modern or survivalist it isn’t meant to. It is not the product of some Kazinsky-esque philosophy, rather it springs from my own desire to live closer to the source of our needs. The term “self-reliant living” even sounds blatantly individualistic and atheistic; however, I believe a life of this kind would require a greater realization that all we have comes from God. And this is not a lifestyle I would encourage for others. In a way I see it as being similar to monasticism. We are not all called to be monks and nuns. Similarly, I don’t believe everyone should give up their modern appliances and move to the woods. I just feel like it is a life I would choose if I could.
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11.22.04
Posted in Uncategorized at by mountzionryan
A few weeks ago my wife said that she and my daughter would start coming to Church with my son and me. Inside I was doing cartwheels.
Now the back story: Lainey (wife) and Sophie (daugheter, aged 8) have been going to Lainey’s Baptist Church. Paul (aged 2) has been coming to St. Anne with me. Lainey and I both long for us all to be together on in worship, but I made it clear that this was not something I would comprimise on.
Her change partly came about in the context of asking her assent to have Paul baptized. I think he will be soon. Shucks the kid has been trying to climb into the baptistry (literally) since he could walk. When I go up for communion I take him with me and Father gives him a blessing. I kinda sling him below the cloth as I take communion. Last week, when I hoisted him up to get his blessing he said, “I eat it.” I can’t think of a more obvious indication that the boy should be baptized.
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Two months since my lost post. I really wanted to better than that. I still do. I am going to relaly try this time.
At the Mission Board Meeting today we approved apending $4000 from the Outreach fund. It felt incredible to be able to give like that.
Still no job, although I have high hopes for a Book Designer position I applied for. As a bibliophile with document design skills I think it would be close to a dream job (if I must work for someone else to pay the bills).
Adding insult to injury, our landlord has informed us that we must vacate by the end of January. His mother is moving back and it’s her house. We have a good lead on another place, but I should know more in about a week.
My biggest regret about leaving this house is it means leaving my garage. The garage is my hermitage of sorts. I have my grandfather’s pool table and a couple of comfy chairs, a refrigerator and most of my books. It’s really more of a den/study than a garage and most importantly its my space. It’s the only place I can really call my own, the rest belongs to my wife. It’s where I hang out with friends and drink beer and smoke cigars. It’s where I watch Monday Night Football and action movies with one of my buddies. I may have to pitch a tent in the back yard of the new place if it doesn’t have a shed or basement! I need my “manroom”.
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